In another study from Dunn and Sandstrom, a group of students were asked to acquit around counters and proceed count all social interactions over the course of their day. Having more social interactions led the students to report greater levels of happiness and wellbeing.

In terms of how much differences in personality traits impact these assertions, Sandstrom, Nightingall, Dunn, and others say, less than y'all'd probably think. "Both extroverts and introverts are social beings," Nightingall says.

Sandstrom adds that people who are more introverted tend to exist more worried near how conversations volition become alee of time compared with extroverts. But those differences become away when people report the benefits they go out of a conversation (according to what she and colleagues establish in the aforementioned "Psychological Science" paper published last year). That research likewise looked at other personality differences too introversion. "Things similar self-esteem and rejection sensitivity didn't matter," Sandstrom says.

How to actually be better at talking to strangers

Whether it'southward budgeted someone at a networking consequence, engaging a friend of a friend you've never met before at a political party, or sharing a kind word with a stranger on the elevator (yep, nosotros went there), hither are some pointers:

1. Be brave, worry less

Even if it's uncomfortable, be dauntless and just do information technology, Sandstrom says. The person is probably going to similar you more than than you think and you're both probably going to savour it more than you lot call back.

And don't be afraid to talk to someone who seems unlike from you lot, adds Juliana Schroeder, PhD, assistant professor at the Haas School of Business concern at University of California Berkeley. (She researches how people navigate their social worlds , including how language and mental chapters influences interactions.) "When you have to talk with someone dissimilar from yous, that tin can be the most enlightening and interesting feel."

two. Be curious

Ask questions. Is the person wearing an commodity of clothing that's noteworthy? Why did they decide to come to whatever event you're both at? Research really suggests that people who ask more questions are meliorate liked by their chat partners than people who ask fewer questions. A question tin either kick off a conversation or keep information technology going, Sandstrom says.

3. Don't be agape to go off-script

Skip the stock questions (what practice y'all do, where do you live, etc.), and ask a question that will make your conversation partner think, which is engaging, Nightingall says. Or start with a statement: "This painting really confuses me" or "I tin't believe how crowded the train is today." Statements are invitations to share curiosities, Nightingall says.

And whether you're request a question, replying, or making a statement, be authentic, she adds. "People desire to get the existent you so they can express the real them."

iv. Give someone a compliment

Information technology shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel practiced, Sandstrom explains. When it comes to our anxieties nigh having conversations with people we don't know, we tend to be in our heads a lot, overthinking what we're doing incorrect or what nosotros could do wrong, she explains. Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can assist united states get past those awkward spots, she says.

5. Talk about something you both have in common

At the very least, you lot're in the same place and experiencing the same weather. Just don't be afraid to dig deeper and discover more interesting commonalities: maybe you lot're from the same place, peradventure y'all have a common friend, maybe yous have a shared hobby, or mayhap you work in similar roles.

"We tend to overestimate how different people are from one another and how different they are from united states of america, " Sandstrom says. "In reality, you lot probably accept lots in mutual, but you lot just don't know what that is nonetheless."

6. Have more than conversations with people you don't know

The more than you take, the more than likely that you're going to have good conversations, Sandstrom says. Yous become better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. "There'southward some skill, only its equally much conviction that come from just doing it more oftentimes," she says.

We fear social rejection — that the person won't reply positively or volition ignore usa, Schroeder says. Research shows the opposite, still, that people almost always are willing to appoint in a conversation when prompted by someone else. (Our fear assumptions fail to take into account the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says.)

vii. Don't let the bad-mannered moments trip you upward

Sandstrom says in her feel, she would draw the stages of having a conversation with a stranger as follows: First, they look at you as if request, "Do I know you lot?" And so there's recognition they don't know you. Then it's, "Wait, are you a weirdo?" And then they get past all of that and realize you lot're just being friendly.

"You accept to be OK that it might be awkward for a bit," Sandstrom says. "Only if you go on going, hopefully y'all'll become to that phase where you're having a real conversation."

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